In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.

Ephesians 4:26

Thoughts

This post on anger is kiiiind of long (fair warning) because well.. it’s a struggle I have, and I have a lot to say about this one. And it’s my blog and I can say what I want to..😊

In the beautiful chaos of motherhood, there are moments that can stir up anger deep within us. The weight of responsibilities, the never-ending to-do lists, the family issues that pull at your heartstrings, and the exhaustion that seeps into your bones — they can all be catalysts for that simmering frustration. But take heart that the Lord hasn’t forgotten about you, Mama, even when it feels like the rest of the world has.

Mama, I see you.

It’s no small feat to keep an entire household running, and it’s natural to feel overwhelmed when it seems like you’re doing it all alone. But remember, it’s okay to ask for help. In fact, it’s encouraged. You don’t have to bear this burden alone. 

Guess what y’all. I’ve tried bearing this burden alone.

I’ve tried the whole “I’m an independent woman and I can handle all of this, while still smiling” facade. And that’s all it is.

It’s a facade.

It’s a fake filter that social media tricks us into believing that you CAN do it all alone, making us feel inadequate when you well.. can’t. Speaking from personal experience, I’ve had to REALLY train myself to undo any expectations that I put on myself before I had an actual household to run.

Whether you have one child, or seven, it is hard work keeping track of everything that comes with managing your home. It’s like having 40 computer tabs open at the same time, things are freezing up, and others are malfunctioning and not operating properly.

Maturity and growth allow you to let go of anger that you would generally hold on to. 

The moment you learn to ask for help, the quicker things in life will change for you for the better. I watched my mom struggle (in her own way). As an adult, I am trying my best to learn from her mistakes and to ask for help when I know for a fact that I need it. I have held onto an amazing group of Christian friends that I know I can call on to give me a break when I’m struggling.

I have a husband that I can communicate with when I feel like I am on the verge of drowning (pro tip: don’t wait until you ARE drowning to ask for help, but better late than never!) He does an amazing job of stepping up when he sees things are needed, but remember ladies, he cannot read your mind. As much as you would like for him to be able to just know what you want/need. He can’t.

Maybe the thing you could handle before seems to be piling up now.

Ask.

For.

Help.

I know it’s hard to hear but sometimes in order deal with some feelings of anger and resentment, we have to take a step back and figure out if we are getting in our own way.

Has someone offered to watch the kids, but you didn’t take them up on it? Did your husband put away the laundry but it wasn’t to your standards so you went to bed fuming that it’s never done your way? 

Friend, I’m not saying to lower your standards to a point where it’s nonexistent, but in times when we are deep in it, it might be worth it to lower it a notch or two.

Delegate.

Accept the help when it’s offered.

Breathe.

Then keep going, grateful that you were given an oxygen tank when you were close to losing it.

I’ve gone to bed knowing the dishes wouldn’t be loaded correctly, and yes I could have let that bother me, but the gratefulness I felt knowing my teen son knew I was having a rough day and offered to take care of extra things that I would normally handle – that allowed me to rest

Gratefulness in any circumstances goes a long way in keeping that anger at bay – or if nothing else – puts out the fire of anger much much quicker.

Family Issues Making You Mad?

Without digging up ALL the skeletons, I can understand how family dynamics can be like a turbulent sea, and navigating them can bring about storms of emotion.

Straight. Up. Hurricanes.

But within these challenges lies an opportunity for growth and understanding. Ephesians 4:2 encourages us to be patient and bear with one another in love. Ugh. Sometimes you just don’t want to be the one to “bear” someone “in love” AGAIN. While it may not always be easy, holding onto love and patience can help weather these storms and find solutions together.

I cannot tell you how many conflicts could have been solved with just a simple conversation. Here, communication is key in all of your relationships. God doesn’t expect us to lead these perfect “stepford wives” lives where we go about our lives smiling and having no other emotions than absolute JOY in the mundane, all while being a super friendly doormat. I don’t think that’s what God intended. 

If it was, scripture wouldn’t give us the “okay” to “be angry” with the exception of not sinning while you’re angry. No matter how perfect your family may be, miscommunication and misunderstandings are bound to happen.

Your mother could say something about your methods that REALLY offended you. Maybe she didn’t mean it that way – maybe she did. Either way, communication is key to solving the conflict.

You are allowed to be angry.

Someone hurt you. But now it’s up to you as a the mature Christian woman to approach her and say hey, that hurt my feelings. That’s not cool that you said that. And now the ball is in her court to react or respond how she wants. But you can now go to bed assured that you did your part. There is nothing else for you to be angry about.

Lean on the Lord to give you understanding and patience.

Ask Him to help you understand why your mother would say such words to you. There IS a way to be angry, and not sin. Some situations may be more simple than others. 

I get that, too. 

God doesn’t expect perfection. He just expects a repentant heart and a heart that recognizes when you are in sin, and when you need to address it.

Now let’s talk about exhaustion.

Mom-exhaustion is like no other exhaustion I have ever felt!

The relentless pace of motherhood can leave you bone-tired and irritable.  Ephesians 4:26 reminds us not to let anger linger, and that includes anger directed at ourselves. Don’t give opportunity for satan to put those thoughts in your mind of discontent, of “if this person didn’t do this, I wouldn’t be in this position.”

It’s okay to rest; it’s necessary, in fact.

It’s probably not anger you’re struggling with. It’s exhaustion.

Self-care isn’t indulgence; it’s self-preservation.

Prioritize moments of rest and rejuvenation, for a well-rested heart is better equipped to handle life’s challenges.

When you are exhausted, and you realize you’ve been running on fumes, rest.

Take a look at all the balls you are juggling, set one down, and rest. I know there are situations where everything is a priority, but you have to pick one to put down. (or delegate – see above)

I just can’t get it all done!

The pursuit of perfection can be a trap that leads to frustration. Ephesians 4:32 encourages us to be kind to one another, forgiving one another, just as God forgave us.

Extend that kindness to yourself.

You don’t have to accomplish everything in a day. Set realistic expectations, forgive yourself for what you couldn’t finish, and embrace the imperfect beauty of motherhood.

I hear it all the time. It’s a season, and the pure exhaustion doesn’t last forever. The season with small children doesn’t last forever either.

Neither do the teenage years.

Or the years where your children are under your roof.

Nothing gold can stay.

Dear tired friend, in your moments of anger and frustration, remember that it’s part of being human. Ephesians offers wisdom to help us navigate these emotions with grace, both toward others and ourselves.

Embrace each day as a new opportunity to grow, love, and find the beauty in the journey. You’re stronger and more resilient than you know, and your love is a powerful force that can weather any storm.

I know it sounds fickle saying “you’re not in this alone,” but truly, you are not.

Lean on friends. Lean on those who love you. Rest. And lean on the One you made you. 

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